Into the Fire

Most of us who are fans and friends of Tosca Lee (Demon . . . a memoir; Havah, The Story of Eve) await her next great and seemingly impossible endeavor Iscariot. I’ve been contemplating the state of mind which leads us to the place of reprehensible conduct and the very forfeiture of our souls. What would it take to tip us over into the willing and waiting hands of our hateful enemy?

Haven’t we all been on the verge of backsliding during certain periods of our lives? Haven’t some of us plunged off the deep end and found ourselves paddling around in the sewage of a life we once embraced as “normal”? We went backwards. We sold out on what we knew to be right and true. And, admit it, we expected the Lord to forgive us whenever we got tired of our filth again. What we didn’t anticipate was the weight of the guilt, the difficulty in grabbing a hold of that lifeline once we turned it loose, and the constant barrage of fresh temptations as we’re crawling in the dirt trying to make it back to grace. And who can know the wicked heart? Are we repenting for sure? Do we plan on putting an end to this revisited lifestyle of the lost and evil—now that it fits us like a custom calfskin glove?

If not in ourselves, we’ve seen those we’ve known and loved turn away from what appeared to be a solid walk with Jesus. Not a flimsy, half-life with Him. A walk where their prayers accomplished things in the Kingdom, their words of knowledge proved accurate, their efforts in ministry matters produced fruitful results . . . And then the slide begins, so subtle we don’t see it, gliding softly, turning gently, slip, slip, slipping into all out sin.

Why? What temptation proved too great? The love of money? The fear of not living a full “life”? Not getting our own way? What is it?

It’s our nature. When the flesh is not subdued we are sin full. Licking it. Loving it. Inhaling it. Touching it. Wrapping it around us like a filthy blanket. Our eyes reveal it, mirroring the iron-hardness of our souls. In spite of our smiles, our laughter, our devil-may-care attitudes, we fill ourselves up with justification and rationalization, our reasoning skewed by demonic pride. We have forsaken our holiness in Christ for our wickedness in Satan. He owns our minds and our bodies because we’ve yielded control to his wayward ways. We’ve believed him who seeks to steal from us, murder us, and accomplish our eternal destruction. We are fools. Fools.

Slaves to our lusts. Disobedient in our spirits. Serving no one but ourselves. Puppets for the evil one.

Loved ones pray for us, come against the spiritual forces of evil in high places, contend for our return to Jesus, to His available grace and forgiveness, but only God knows our hearts and intentions. Only God knows for sure. Faithful and just as He is to forgive us for our sins, only He knows if and when we mean our supplications. Risky business. Eternal destinations await. Who knows the number of our days? Only God.

Sin full. And pitiful. Duped. Deceived. Decimated. Will we return? Only God knows.

Deliver us from evil. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.