To continue with the topic of graphic sexual and language scenes in general market/secular literature, we shouldn't omit from the graphics discussion the violence factor and how it's portrayed. Detailed accounts of horrific deeds occur on the pages of murder/suspense/thriller novels.
First, let's address the sexual and language scenes. The alternatives to reading these are to skip over them, to stop reading the story (which if you've liked it to that point is a disappointment in itself), to try another author, or to migrate to Christian fiction. This last one works well for Christians but not for the secular crowd who usually – but not always – are avid readers of those graphic scenes and don't seem to mind the language. I'm sure the general market has their versions of "clean" fiction too, but it's harder to find in the romance genre.
The subject of violence is an interesting one because the fact is you can read graphic violence in some Christian novels. Those of us who watched CSI or Criminal Minds on TV are perhaps a little more "forgiving" of those scenes which depict violence. We don't "like" them or enjoy reading them, but we understand their significance within the framework of the particular story. Other readers cannot tolerate any specifics regarding violent content for multiple reasons. Fortunately for them, there are many authors who only allude to violence when telling their crime stories, particularly in Christian fiction.
I would like to give credit where credit is due in Christian fiction. Having submitted multiple manuscripts multiple times to Christian literary agents and editors (at writing conferences), I can tell you for most of the Christian publishing houses the restrictions for romance novels are rigid. Different ones bend somewhat more than others, but any kind of sexual content is tightly governed. I've concluded these publishers know their niche audience and don't want the rabid comments/reviews that often ensue if their readers deem a story even a bit risqué. Therefore, kudos to Tyndale House for allowing Francine River's The Masterpiece (and others of hers) to portray the sexual sizzling (no graphics) attraction and tendencies of one character and the struggling reactions of the pull to that attraction by the other. So real. Masterfully done – pun on purpose. Next, kudos to Becky Wade for doing such a great job with her romance novels. She captures all the sensations of falling/being in love, and when done right, it's a beautiful thing. I'd also like to mention Kristen Heitzmann who knows how to write real romance with all kinds of unique personalities. Although Secrets and Unforgotten are my two absolute favorites of hers, she's written many others that contain genuine depictions of warring attractions with all the subtle behavioral conflicts and actions that turn to love.
I'm not sure I have any conclusive remarks to these thoughts other than I fail to understand why the huge amount of written general market/secular romance must be portrayed with the purposely titillating graphic scenes of human beings having sex. In my opinion it degrades their stories and adds nothing of value to the story itself. There can be a fair amount of steamy action (if that's what a reader seeks) without discussing body parts and how they're reacting to another's body parts. Is that really necessary? Add to that vulgarity in depicting sizes and shapes and sounds, and the reader is now in voyeur mode. Bring on the excessive four-letter words, and you have one tastelessly written novel even though without those parts, there's a good story there.
Writing violence consists of choosing how much, how detailed, and to what end in the story. The genres which usually contain violent situations allow for much leeway even in Christian novels. It ends up falling into the category (for Christian authors) of what is acceptable to get the point across without going too far into the evil.
Your thoughts?
Father, help me to listen to your leading and write as you would have me do. I know my assignment(s). Help me to be faithful to my calling. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

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