Into the Fire

Brothers loved by God, we know that He has chosen you, because our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction.

1 Thessalonians 1:4 (NIV)

And so it's Valentine's Day. I confess I almost forgot. However, what better way to celebrate this day than a snapshot from a love story/romance novel? Right? 

From Chapter 16 of my WIP:

Her presence made me smile. “Come in,” I said trying not to sound too joyful. Silly as that seemed. She held the manuscript pages in her arms like a treasure. “My good friend I told you about that found this place for me stopped by.” When we entered the area, Seth got off the stool like a gentleman and smiled, holding out his hand. 

     “Seth Garlind, I’d like you to meet my assistant Sara Bristol. She’s agreed to be my onsite go-to professional for my novels.”

     They shook hands. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Sara. I know Burn’s been hoping to find an assistant that could work onsite for some time now. How do you like it here?”

     “Wonderful to meet you, Seth. I’ve only been here a few days, and I love it. It’s beautiful, quiet, just perfect really. Burn said you and he have been close friends for many years.”

     “We have. It was hard when life separated us, but we managed to keep in touch. It was a major deal to have him want to move out here, and this place was the perfect choice – especially with his ability to make the improvements and additions.”

     “I couldn’t ask for better accommodations. I feel pampered.”

     I watched the color appear on her cheeks and smiled.

     “Oh. Here, Burn.” She handed the pages to me. “I’ll let you two catch up. Again, it was wonderful to meet you, Seth. Hope to see more of you.”

     Before I could coax her to stay, she smiled graciously at us both and walked quickly to the back door. My smile dropped off my face.

     Seth returned to his stool and I could see a semi-smirk brewing.

     “What?” I said with minimal irritation.

     “Well, it’s not like she isn’t a knockout babe or anything, right?”

     “You want another Coke?”

     “Sure. I wouldn’t miss the next few minutes for the world.”

     “Ha. Ha. Let’s go sit in the living room.” I got him more Coke and went to my liquor cabinet and poured myself a double shot of Crown Royal because I needed something to take the edge off.

     We sat. I started talking. “You might be interested to know that I wanted to hire her cold turkey off her resume, sight unseen. I listened to what Darla and Ben said, and I knew by their words and body language that they felt threatened by her after she initiated meetings with them before meeting me. Darla for obvious reasons and Ben because we haven’t exactly had the most cooperative editing experiences. So when she showed up I gave her a super rough interview and she held up to the challenge. She handled me, Seth. Like no one I’ve ever known has done.” I almost downed the entire amount of my whiskey. “And, yes, she’s a babe. I caught that at first glimpse. And, okay, I haven’t been the same since.”

     I watched Seth’s demeanor change.

     “How so?” he asked me, serious.

     “She’s genuine, no agenda. She gives me compliments as if they’re facts. It’s so refreshing to be around her. She actually blushed when I kissed her hand and once on the cheek.” I knew my voice sounded wistful at the verbal recollection. I couldn’t believe I was actually feeling my liquor. What I’d consumed thus far was a raindrop in a reservoir compared to my usual indulgence. Although I hadn’t eaten anything.

     “Not what you expected but maybe what you’d hoped for?”

     His inquiry was honest, sincere. I owed him the same. “That she held up to what I put her through when she got here, accepted the job to work onsite as if it was a gift, willing to undergo a trial run if I wanted to test her abilities? She’s the gift!” I couldn’t believe how passionately I admitted it all.

     “Wow.”

     “I know,” I said with what had to sound a bit helpless. I set my drink on the coffee table, the remaining whiskey no longer appealing to me. “I’d only admit this to you, but I hardly know how to act around her. You know me, I’d hop into bed with her in a New York minute if she gave me even the slightest inclination that was possible. That’s all I’ve known since –” Her name stuck in my throat.

     “Since before and after Savanna. I know.” He said it quietly and respectfully.

     I stood, uneasy, rattled even. “I started another book. I’ve almost got the same word count on it that I have on the one that’s under contract, for which I had to ask for a delay because up until Sara encouraged me with her remarks about the pages I’d given her, I didn’t know if I could complete it. This has never happened to me, starting another book while writing one. She somehow inspired it! I took her out to dinner last night because I couldn’t think of any other reasonable way to spend a few extra hours with her and all under the guise that we were celebrating the pages she’d edited and/or corrected for me.” I realized I paced in front of the fireplace. That in itself made me more agitated so I flopped back in my chair.

     “Sounds serious, Burn.”

     I appreciated Seth’s honesty. He never pulled any punches with me, no matter how crass I got. He didn’t flounder. Ever. And although he hadn’t needed to for a long time, he could give it right back if I overstepped.

     “It does. I know. And it makes no sense. It’s only been a few days, Seth. And I’m seriously off the rails.” I sat forward and placed my forearms on my quads. “Darla showed up yesterday, no warning.”

     “And?”

     “And nothing. She used my request for an extension as an excuse to discern why I needed it so she could reassure my publisher, but she really just wanted to resume the usual.”

     “I assume you didn’t.”

     “Correct, and I made that clear. It was still unpleasant. And afterward it reminded me of all the many things I regret.”

     Seth looked down at his hands loosely lying on his thighs. I knew he was contemplating what to say, not taking any of what I’d said lightly. The dread I was feeling at what he might say kept me silent.

     He looked at me directly and took a moment before he spoke. “Burn, I know you didn’t understand my reasoning when I told you about my ‘come-to-Jesus’ experience. You’ve always had this elevated opinion of me as this squeaky clean guy who didn’t need religion. I know at the time you didn’t get it. And you probably still don’t. But here’s the deal. All of those regrets you recall? You can’t know how much I wanted your life back then. You think you’re the only one who was filled with lust? I just didn’t have the guts to do anything about mine. I was awkward, tall and gangly, uncomfortable in my own skin. We were the odd couple of friendships – you being the super charming one all the girls couldn’t wait to go out with – and me? Well, it was all wishful thinking for me.” He laughed a bit and shook his head in remembrance.

     The sweat accumulated once again. I couldn’t say a word. I felt my teeth clamped together.

     “That doesn’t make what I felt and wanted any less wrong than what you were doing. And, yes, what you were doing and what I wanted were wrong. But never mind that right now. The fact that you have regrets, the fact that people like Darla raise that issue, and the fact that Sara is causing this upheaval indicates – and, please, hear me out – the Lord is working to get your attention. How do I know that? Because, believe it or not, I had the same kind of experience before I got saved.”

Father, thank you for words, inspiration, stories, characters, the works. Apart from you, I can do nothing. Thank you is never enough. In the Name of Jesus, Amen. 

You can tell by the torn page, this is a very old photograph, but it's one of my favorites of a very long time ago. This is my late friend Rick, a very good guy. He played the piano beautifully – the only person who composed a song for me. He called it "Gallop" due to my love of horses. 

Father, thank you for my friendship and final visit with Rick. I can only hope I see him again when I see you. Thank you for the meaningful people in my life. In the Name of Jesus, Amen. 

The impact of words can be astounding. Stunning, devastating, hilarious, thoughtful, wicked, pointed, pointless. Take a look at these few words and let your mind react to them:

spiritual

violent

smack

pound

spectacular

delicate

lacy 

titillating 

sensuous

paralyzing

hateful 

ugly 

magnificent

Words. They hurt, they heal, they touch, they scare, they reveal, they scar, they remind, they push, they bore. Communication comes in so many forms, but words are powerful. Use them wisely.

Father, your Word is Truth. Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life – the only way to you. John 14:6. Let us always trust your Word. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.  

The man with the great and powerful voice and meaningful lyrics in all of his songs. Beautiful! 

Father, thank you for Bryan and his amazing voice and life. Please continue to shine your face upon him. In the Name of Jesus, Amen. 

And so it is. Many people are on their way back to work. Others are headed for school. Etcetera.

Philly fans are rejoicing at the dominate Super Bowl win. Chiefs fans are disillusioned and sad or angry, depending. 

Monday comes with all the usual sighs, energy, or lack thereof.

How's Monday for you? 

Father, every day you give us is a gift. Thank you is never enough. Please help me to make mine honor you. In the Name of Jesus, Amen. 

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. 

. . . 

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. 

Colossians 4: 2 and 6 (NIV) 

For those who get the weekends off from their jobs, have a great Friday. For those who need the chance to relax after a hectic week however spent, enjoy your weekend. For those who elevate Fridays as the opportunity to somehow celebrate, be safe and laugh a lot. 

Father, we thank you for each day of our weeks and lives. They aren't always what we hoped they would be, but in you, we know you have our backs. There is no better place to be than in your care, under your love. Thank you for saving me from myself. Apart from you, I can do nothing. In the Name of Jesus, Amen. 

Always fun to remember. My second summertime visit to The Flying Horseshoe Ranch in Teanaway Valley, Washington. My BFF and I were able to go for two weeks that summer. That's me with Minnie Ha Ha. Some of the best times of my young life. 

Father, thank you for giving me a love for horses. The love of horses and writing stayed with me. Thank you is never enough. In the Name of Jesus, Amen. 

The beauty of winter. The Lord's majestic designs.

Father, your creation of beauty is magnificent. Thank you is never enough. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.