Into the Fire

Passionate thoughts about the world of writing and the Power of God

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    My heart is steadfast, O God:

    I will sing and make music with all my soul.

    Awake, harp and lyre!

    I will awaken the dawn,

    I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;

    I will sing of you among the peoples.

    For great is your love, higher than the heavens;

    your faithfulness reaches to the skies.

    Be exalted, O God, above the heavens,

    and let your glory be over all the earth.

     

    Give us aid against the enemy,

    for the help of man is worthless.

    With God we will gain the victory,

    and he will trample down our enemies.

     

    Psalm 108:1-5; 10-13 (NIV)

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    After a huge Thanksgiving dinner at our wonderful neighbor's home, we shoveled our driveway for about two hours. Fortunately the thaw is such that this morning the two hot rods can take their drivers to work without the reliable Explorer chauferring them to and from. Thank you, Jesus.

     

    December 10th: The Tourist! Can not wait.

     

    Apologies to all of you. I announced in a couple of past posts that I'd be featuring an interview with Rachelle Gardner. Not gonna happen. Rachelle informed me that she's swamped. No harm done other than I wanted to be sure and let you know I didn't intend to mislead you.

     

    Black Friday. I will be participating in some capacity. I was up at 4 AM to take the 4 X 4 up and down the driveway to make passage for the boys. Some more of the remaining snow/ice melted last night. Since I'm up and at 'em, might as well get some shopping done, huh?

     

    Just a reminder to those of you who labor under the pull, draw, and compulsion to write: Keep on keepin' on. There are all kinds of us who know what God wants us to do. We might not know why, but we do know we must. Therefore, in obedience we will pursue that which is our honor and our duty.

     

    Father, we worship you. Thankful. Love you, Lord. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

     

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    HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

    May the Lord's grace continue in your life, may His blessing be powerful, may His abundance be yours, and may you experience His joy in your gratitude for all that He has given you.

    To my writer friends and all others who visit here: I am so grateful for you. Thank you for honoring me with your time and words. You're treasures.

    Father, watch over your people. Lead us in your ways everlasting. Help us to always be thankful even when it's hard. We are so blessed. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

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    It saddens me when love for God somehow gets reduced to the trite and true. Of course how could it not? After all these centuries hasn’t it been expressed ad nauseum? How many times have you heard or said: God is good. Well, duh. Few of us even believe it as an absolute anymore. Really. Consider when trauma or tragedy strikes? We pretend not to wonder why, but doggone it, most of the time we can’t help ourselves. “The big picture” seems way too insignificant compared to the right-now picture.

     

    I want to worship my Lord. I don’t want it to be insignificant, trite, familiar to the point of boredom. I want to worship in spirit and in truth. To experience the awe of His presence. Yet to express the wonder and magnificence somehow gets cluttered with worn out phraseology and words too small for His bigness.

     

    Forgive me for this, but I’m not a “devotional” person. Maybe it’s from growing up outside the church. Maybe it’s from reading one too many that came out trite and well-worn. Maybe it’s because I wake up with Thank you, Lord, on my lips and in my heart. Maybe it’s because I just don’t care for the medium of expression—too formulaic, too ritualistic, too practiced, too legalistic. Not saying that all devotionals are like that. I guess sometimes it just seems that way to me.

     

    Please don’t get me wrong. I have a friend who writes wonderful little devotionals. They’re poignant, real, effective. And I’m not questioning the hearts of those who create them. They’re just not my . . . style.

     

    God is too big for me. I’ve told Him so. My mind too finite. I’ve always known He was so much greater than this humanity He created. I’ve so loved that about Him, and I’m grateful He allowed me to sense that about Him at a very young age.

     

    Making our expression of Him and to Him trite saddens me. With all of our being and passion we need to worship the One we can’t limit, define, imagine, or explain in terms of human acceptance. He’s too far beyond our vocabularies, our imaginations, our limitations. It’s inside us to know Him, but that knowledge is bound up in the flesh, escaped in the spirit, but stuck in humanity. Someday . . . we’ll see Him as He is. And the experience will be anything but trite.

     

    God, I need you . . . plainly. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

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    Snow in Seattle: a mess. Abandoned cars on the freeway and everywhere else. My son’s beautiful Mustang included. Fortunately it’s pulled off the road. Hopefully we can get it towed today, but the towing companies are swamped.

     

    Those were the days when snow used to be fun. Junior and senior high school especially. The days when no school prevailed. We had a steep hill by my home that no cars dared attempt, so kids were out in force with their sleds. Yes. Sleds. Wooden sleds. We spent hours traversing down that hill. It curved at the bottom and made for long fast fun rides. In my neighborhood I invented surfer or perhaps chariot style, standing up and holding onto the rope whizzing down that grade. An absolute blast with the wind from the speed in my eyes. Laughing. So carefree for those hours of plain play.

     

    Those were the days when that kind of snow was rare for around here. And fun.

     

    I hate snow here now. Precisely because of the ensuing chaos. There’s no fun in commuting. No fun in cars sliding down our slight downgrade and sometimes plowing into our fence. No fun in having to juggle the one 4 X 4—mine—to get people to work. My husband used to drive a 4 X 4 Ford pickup. Best rig in the snow. Now he drives a Ford Lightning pickup. For those of you who don’t know: it’s one fast puppy. It doesn’t get out of our driveway in the snow. Needless to say, my son’s Mustang doesn’t travel in the snow. However, he was at work when the bad weather went nutso. He thought he could make it. Didn’t.

     

    I hate snow. Here.

     

    God, please help us get the Mustang home safely. Thank you for your protection. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

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    Rants:

     

    I’ve about had it with the NFL officiating. Let’s put tutus on the quarterbacks. Pink ones. Calling personal foul/unsportsmanlike conduct/head to head (leading with the helmet) penalties have become the new fashion statement for officials. Except that the majority of the calls haven’t been right. And it’s 15 yards. I’m telling you sometimes I think they’re betting on the games.

     

    “Green Technology” is an oxymoron, with the emphasis on moron.

     

    Snow in November. Here. Ugh.

     

    Raves:

     

    I’m almost done with my Christmas shopping!

     

    Jesus is so gracious to me—in spite of me.

     

    I love it when we get to see the answers to our prayers.

     

    That’s it for me this Monday.

     

    Lord, I’m desperate for you. As always. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

     

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    Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.

    John 21:25 (NIV)

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    While it would seem half of our population resents Christianity and dismisses most of the message and its deliverers, the truth is somebody’s listening. Somebody hears the words spoken by Christians, written by Christians, sung by Christians, and sometimes those somebodies respond. The reason might be clothed in how well the message was spoken, written, and/or sung, but the truth has always been God chooses the medium and the messenger with the Holy Spirit’s prompting to a dead or scattered soul. Whether it be street talk or professorial apologetics, somebody listens.

     

    Christians sometimes use all kinds of cutesy phrases to demonstrate the basic gospel. People shudder, frown, roll their eyes, or wonder at their meanings, including other Christians. Yeah, some of them are silly, ridiculous, kitschy, and even offensive, but more often than not they expose some truth. Whether on a bumper sticker or a reader board, the world observes them and makes a judgment call. Somebody in this country no doubt can give a testimony about being influenced by a bumper sticker.

     

    I’ve shared with you before how I had to teach myself to cuss and swear. I wasn’t raised to be improper. The worst thing I ever heard my mother say—and if she wasn’t in heaven, she’d die on the spot of embarrassment and shame to have this posted—was when I was a little girl and we were driving. I remember the location to this day. Of course I wasn’t paying attention to other drivers—I don’t know if I was tall enough to see them at the time. I suspect somebody pulled out in front of her and nearly caused an accident because she responded in a fear-etched voice: “A-hole.” She didn’t even use “ass”. She immediately apologized to me when she caught her breath. She was such a lady. I wondered what that meant for years until I remembered the incident much later in life when I heard someone use it where there could be no mistaking its intent. I gave you that example of my sweet mom because sometimes there can be no better word(s) for certain situations.

     

    ***Okay: here’s a warning for those of you who are offended by language. I rarely find the use of bad language entertaining, and although this doesn’t contain cuss words, it does include a reference to the above “description” pertaining to a person. I feel guilty admitting this, but I have to tell you this bumper sticker made me laugh out loud in the parking lot of our local Super Mall and remains one of my favorites to this day. Ready? Here goes: “Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.”***

     

    Now I’m sorry if you find no humor in that, but I find it to be a truthful statement in so many ways. All of us before Christ are ugly, depraved, and clueless as to our states of sinfulness. We have no idea how putrid and deadly the sin in our lives is to us. Half of us couldn’t even identify sin because we’ve rationalized almost everything we’ve ever done that we knew was wrong. And yet Jesus loves us. Love like we can’t imagine. In spite of us.

     

    We can assume our words of faith get ignored, disputed, or put down, but God can use them, especially when they’re Spirit-led and inspired. We might not get to participate in the direct results, but from what I understand Jesus knows what we’ve done in obedience to Him. He knows for whom our heart beats and what it desires. If we think the world isn’t listening, we can be sure God is. And per His instruction we must speak the truth in love.

     

    Lord God, help us all to believe that someone is listening to the beautiful message of your love, and help us to keep speaking that message in whatever form we can. In the Name of Jesus, Amen. 

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    This was a question posed to President George W. Bush by Rush Limbaugh concerning the president’s book Decision Points. This post isn’t about President Bush’s book. It’s about his answer to this question. He said he hoped people would find he had a good sense of humor and he wanted them to know how hard it was to send troops into battle—how difficult, how much he labored, consulted, and prayed over having to make that decision. Those are just a couple of his responses.

     

    So I ask you. What do you want people to know about you?

     

    Chip MacGregor has said he’s much “larger” in print. In person he insists he’s usually soft-spoken, and he doesn’t confront people unless they truly warrant it by what they say.

     

    Mick Silva has said he wants to be a peacemaker, but I’ve met Mick in emails and in person, and he’s one of the most diplomatic and kind people on the planet to strangers and wannabe authors. So taking the extra step to becoming a true peacemaker in all situations shouldn’t stretch him that much farther.

     

    What do I want people to know about me? I’m passionate. I love the Lord as much as I’m capable and if it doesn’t show: I’ve failed as a person. I love . . . deeply. Not something I can conjure up—it originates from God. I am easily hurt, way over-sensitive, but to compensate the Lord has made me resilient. I love to laugh, hysterically if possible. I want people to know I view everything, yes: everything, through a spiritual window. I’m a diehard romantic but not in a girly-girl kind of way. I love unpretentious symbolism. I tend to favor the underdog provided they exhibit a good heart. I’m a low-maintenance wife and friend. I value all kinds of people but struggle with whiny women, unmanly men, and hate selfishness (in myself first), hypocrisy (in myself first), and arrogance (in myself first). Writing is not a hobby for me. I take it seriously, but I seriously rebel at formulaic fiction and uniform rules. I’ve written seven novels, have two in progress, and two self-published. Principle is more important to me than compromise.

     

    So. What do you want people to know about you?

     

    Lord, you keep working on this flesh in spite of the slow progress. I love you for rescuing me and giving me worth. I can do nothing apart from you. Anything good in me you put there and nourished. I can claim no responsibility for the good parts. And take all the responsibility for the bad. I’m desperate for you. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

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    Some of you may not get that reference to the “Days of Our Lives” soap opera. I hate to break out such a reference but geez, the days of OUR lives can be far more riveting. I want to begin by saying that our life is not all gloom and doom. We share a lot of joy and laughter in our home. More often than not, we’re living as close to a normal life as possible when you have a transplant child.

    Sarah visited Children’s for follow-up labs today and they weren’t what we wanted to hear but were half-expected:

    Scoop #1 – There are outward signs the EBV infection is not going away. Sarah has had this ever-increasing rash on her face and Patty said her poor little lips are so cracked they’re bleeding each morning when she wakes up. Rash is one of the signs that EBV is not leaving the body quietly. Sarah also hasn’t been able to shake a cough and has been waking up multiple times during the night crying out. Another sign EBV is causing trouble.

    Scoop #2 – Sarah’s liver labs have jumped slightly since the docs lowered her tac dosage to .5mg daily. Still, there is always the concern of rejection and with the EBV present, things are that much worse.

    On tap: Patty and Sarah trek back down to Children’s early Thursday for 7am labs, followed by an ultrasound at 730 and liver biopsy at 915. Maybe we can call this the Carnival of Tests. Sounds so much better than “battery” of tests, don’t you think? The biopsy will also be tested for lymphoma in the liver. There’s that OTHER ‘L’ word.

    Once the carnival is finished, they will admit Sarah for a 2 day viral treatment to combat the EBV. Depending on what else comes back on the labs, as in acute rejection, the stay could be as long as 4 days – our customary stay time at the luxurious Seattle Children’s resort.

    This comes at a bad time for me (is there ever a GOOD time?), as we are short-staffed at work and I need to be there 10 hours Thursday and 12 hours (at least) Friday. If you could pray for my mental faculties, the ability to focus amidst our chaos, I would appreciate it.

    It goes without saying that Sarah and Patty need your prayers while at Children’s. As frustrating as this rollercoaster ride can be, if Sarah comes out of this with the EBV gone and no liver damage, I will be exceedingly thrilled.

    A happy reminder: Earlier this afternoon it hit me that today was the 2 year anniversary of Sarah’s Kasai surgery when she was two months old. My how time flies!

     
    Posted by Kirk, father of Sarah, friend of Nicole's.
     
    Father, you know the plans you have for Sarah. You've known since the beginning of time. You are her protector. Jesus, you are her shepherd, her rock, her healer. Please demonstrate your mercy and grace to little Sarah and her family. Go before her to the hospital and watch over her. Keep her safe from all harm and give her doctor(s) fresh insights directly from you. Please, Lord, touch her body, this liver, and Holy Spirit, comfort this little child who is precious to you and to all who know her. Please, God. Please. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.