Into the Fire

Stripped down, bare naked question: what do I really want?

Those of you who’ve read enough of this blog know that in my mid to late teens I began to slip away from the moral and God-awareness of my upbringing, the erosion due in part to the musical lyrics in the changing culture of those days. Having no relationship with Jesus Christ but always believing in the magnitude of God, I could not truly understand who God was or intended and desired to be in my life.

Included in that downhill slide were many things I’d rather not discuss here today, but, trust me, I wasn’t raised the way I chose to act during a period of years which concluded at the age of 30 when I met Jesus Christ. Since I’ve lived what the world has to offer, I marvel at born again Christians who lean toward what that secular lifestyle will give them insisting it is some form of “freedom” in Christ. It is anything but freedom.

So, what do I really want? I want people who love me to consider me a servant of the Lord, to say above all else that I love Jesus and that it is evident in my life, my language, my writing, my one-on-ones with them and others. I want to touch people where they need to be touched: deep within their spirits where hope, inspiration, passion, desire, perseverance, courage, and the devotion to continue to serve God in a full-out, no holds barred, gut-level kind of way needs revival.

I want to love fully, deeply, passionately (and not care about adverbs in the process). I want to listen to the hearts of others and be able to offer something valuable when they need it most, being a receptor from God to them. I want to pray without ceasing and watch God working.

I want my writing to move people, to somehow help them to desire more depth in their relationship with Jesus, in their love for others, in their life unions. Noble goal. And knowing that my writing is for a specific audience which I must trust the Lord for it to reach. And I must trust the Lord for each word because apart from Him, I can do nothing.

I want to make people laugh out loud or at least smile. I want to be missed when I leave this earth. I want the love for me to linger in the hearts of those who’ve shared love with me. I want both hard tears and loud laughs at my funeral service.

I want to touch, matter to, and influence lives for Jesus. Somehow, some way.

In this “list” you have what I really want.

Father, make it so. Please. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.