Into the Fire

Many things? A few things? How to answer such a far-reaching question?

There was a time when the drama-spirit in me longed for fame, not so much for the recognition of physical form but rather for the acknowledgement of talent. To be known as a fine actress, a gifted writer—those kinds of things. I must say I was not in a relationship with Jesus at the time. But He protected me from myself anyway.

I was looking for my niche in life and when I found it at the racetrack at the age of 20, it endured for a long season. My first novel is a tribute to the difficult commitment involved in horse racing. In so many ways it was an honor to write the book. In the first place it was in direct response to God’s instruction to me. In the second place I stuck to it for over 8 and ½ years and wrote a comprehensive story of middle echelon horse racing in America unlike any other novel written for adults on this subject, capturing the language, lifestyle, and culture of the sport. And in the third place my husband and I spent the large sum to publish it, often giving copies away. Copies of that book are now in 15 states with one in Alberta, Canada. There’s nothing quite like the thrill of seeing that first book in print.

The general rule is that most people look for love, acceptance, a job they like, a comfortable income, and the ways and means to acquire those “things”. But what about after you have an encounter with God Almighty and meet the Savior Jesus Christ? What are you looking for then? Anything different?

After being rescued by the Lord after trying my hand at life and coming up empty at the age of 30, the hunt for what I’d been looking for came to a wonderful halt in that overall big-picture searching way. Finally I’d found the Truth.

Now so many years later, what I’m truly looking for is an ever increasing depth in the immersion of Jesus Christ. What I needed when I was lost hasn’t really changed that much. I needed Jesus then, and I need Him just as much for different reasons now. The insatiable desire to go into the deep waters of the Spirit with God is really what I’m always looking for. No, I’m not so brave as to proclaim I will embrace the suffering of the faith. Yet I know it’s a possibility. Many do. But even more don’t.

Are you looking for the pleasures and easiness of living in this world? Are you planning your life with the cares of this world in the forefront? What do you hope to gain here during your temporary residence? What are you really looking for?

Lord God Almighty, may I never cease to look for you and to you in all things while I’m here. I don’t want to stray. I don’t want to waste time doing things you don’t have for me to do. I don’t want to languish in my faith and service to you. Help me to be strong in you and in your mighty power. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.