Into the Fire

I am not a fan of “green”. Unless of course it’s a pleasant forest green used in a fall clothing line. Don’t talk to me about “going green”, “turning green”, or “being green”. I think people have lost their minds.

Mercury in fish is supposed to kill you, but it’s perfectly fine in twisted (in more ways than one) light bulbs. Nobody in their right mind enjoys pollution. Yes, some factories, industries, and/or businesses contributed to horrible pollution because they refused to take precautions to eliminate or greatly reduce the pollutant they caused or produced in making products. Heavy fines. New restrictions and some lawsuits prevailed. Rightfully so for those knuckleheads.

But I must tell you that a great lot of this green garbage is not truth. Not even close.

Let me tell you a little tale. A true story, as a matter of fact. Said characters shall remain anonymous since the snitch czars probably monitor this anti-green dialogue.

Once upon a time there was a young man who grew up in the era of American muscle cars. You know what I mean: GTOs, Corvettes, Camaros, Super Sports, Saleen or Mach 1 Mustangs. You get my drift. Time passes. Years of atrociously ugly cars. Then after a period of time, fast vehicles start making a slight comeback. And lo and behold! Entering the mix is a hot rod pickup truck made by Ford and called a Lightning! A truck!

Young man became a responsible adult who drove a reliable and gutsy Ford 4 X 4 pickup truck which drove through all weather, hauled trailers full of horses without complaint, and was just plain awesome and useful. Ford 4 X 4 ages and now older man decides a little muscle would be too cool. Enter unique hot rod pickup truck made by Ford and called a Lightning.

Hidden under this Lightning’s hood myriad instruments and components make said truck go very, very fast. As in push the passenger back in the seat with head firmly planted against head rest fast. Fun thing about said truck: there are all kinds of after-market parts available to improve this already untamed speed! (You have no idea.)

Okay, so here’s the secret part of the story which could bring the feds down on this truck like Lightning fast. So pretend this information appears in a hushed whisper. Those particular parts known as catalytic converters which are designed to restrict CO2 emissions—there are four of them on Lightnings. They are unnecessary!! In fact, if you add expensive after market pieces to your engine and exhaust systems, you don’t need them! At all.

The whole goal of making an engine run “cleaner” and to burn fuel more efficiently depends on more AIR, not on these expensive filters and extra pieces tagged on to the exhaust systems. Give the engine more opportunity to “breathe”, and those additional “cats” can be eliminated.

Proof you say? This very, very fast Lightning passed the State Emissions Exam—and this is a direct quote from a somewhat surprised tester—“with flying colors”. Clean. Not “green”.

Just a little story for some of the old muscle car fans.

And for those of us who want to . . . well, you know . . . at the mention of “green”. Slime.

Father, much of this junk science comes from those who deny you, who cannot fathom that you keep this earth in play, that you decide when it ends, not the ignorant arrogance of mankind. Lord, forgive us for our folly. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.