Into the Fire

Passionate thoughts about the world of writing and the Power of God

 

. . . at who I am.

Recently I attended a movie by myself. For whatever odd reason sometimes I enjoy going to the movies solo. This particular film shall remain nameless, but the one thing about this event that gives you a look at who I am happened during the previews to future releases. Once the clips started for the coming film War Horse, I lost it. Scrambling for Kleenexes in my purse, I sat alone trying not to bawl out loud, lowering my gaze and discreetly plugging my ears. Needless to say, I can't do most animal films. Tears me up. And tears me up. We've got two of our beloved Thoroughbreds, two beautiful German Shepherds, and one cat buried on our property. I type these words through tears. If you're not an animal lover, you won't get it. When this particular film trailer now shows on television during the football game commercials, off I go into another room. My husband might snicker at me, but he'll also hold me and let me sob when needed. He didn't always . . .

I can be driving in my rig and listen to the OnStar commercials on the radio, hear the frantic voices, the fear and desperation, and cry.

Remember the Hallmark commercials on television? Tear city.

Mention of the military? The Star Spangled Banner? Sobs. 

Some of the songs I've linked to on this blog bring me to tears.

The same passion that drives me also steers my hurt level.

So. Now you know just a piece of me.

Father, I'm grateful for the sensitivity you've given me. I know I need to direct it where you desire it to be. Help me to do that. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

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7 responses to “Just a peek . . .”

  1. Barb Avatar

    Aw, Nicole, thank you for sharing this piece of yourself. I’m an animal lover so I get it. 🙂 I also used to get choked up every 4th of July watching the parade in my hometown when any kind of patriotic song came on with the marching band (I say “used to” b/c where I live now there are no Independence Day parades). And when the veterans walked by… fuggetaboutit!
    I hadn’t heard of the War Horse movie, so thanks for mentioning it. Have you read the book it was based off of? Horses are so mysterious and beautiful (and intimidating to city girls like me), but I find them fascinating.

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  2. Mark H. Avatar
    Mark H.

    I have to admit, I saw the ads for War Horse, and immediately thought of you.

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  3. Nicole Avatar

    Barb, I haven’t read the book on which it was based. In fact, I didn’t know there was one. I do know, from what little I’ve seen of the previews before I couldn’t watch anymore, the story is a touching rendition of that incalculable bond that forms between some animals and their owners. It’s a different kind of Black Beauty story, but it’s terrifically touching. An absolute tear-jerker for me.
    And I would do the same thing watching the veterans.
    Yeah, Mark, part of me wishes I could watch it . . . but I just can’t.

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  4. BK Jackson Avatar

    I’m with you on the things that make you cry re: animals, military, etc. The older I get, the more easily I cry too.
    But the thing I zeroed in on in this post is this: “For whatever odd reason sometimes I enjoy going to the movies solo.”
    And my first thought was, Why would anyone think this is odd? It’s a joy to be able to do things solo. I feel freer to sit and analyze a movie (or emote) if I’m by myself.

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  5. Tim George Avatar

    Hey Friend – My grandfather road a war horse in WWI. Have a picture of him in his riding crops standing next to his Calvary steed somewhere in France. I’ll send it your way when I get a chance.

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  6. Nicole Avatar

    I’d never done this until I was in my 20s, Brenda. I think the first movie I saw alone was American Graffiti. Laughed out loud in the theater all by myself. Decided it wasn’t too bad. However, some movies are better shared. Not all, but some.

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  7. Nicole Avatar

    I’d love that, Tim, but of course it’ll make me cry! Thank you for thinking of me.

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