Into the Fire

Passionate thoughts about the world of writing and the Power of God

 

  Romantic-photos-of-kisses-part4-rain11

A considerable amount of violence is allowed in Christian thrillers (speculative included), suspense, romantic suspense, mysteries, sci-fi, and I can only assume there is some in fantasy. In some novels the violence can be graphic (Robert Liparulo's and Steven James' novels both contain some graphic violence). I've read a few books from the Christian Fiction market which use the word "crap" once or more.

But when it comes to romance novels, there are all kinds of restrictions to limit the use and description of real sexual attraction, struggle, and in some cases which words will be "acceptable". I've come to detest the word "acceptable" in regard to fiction as much as I came to resent the word "edgy". Those words force judgment on a story and imply the judges are just in their decisions.

"Sex is everywhere. The last place I want to find it or deal with it is in Christian Fiction." Anonymous

Because the world uses sex to sell everything from automobiles to vacation spots, I cannot argue with the saturation factor. On film, on TV, on magazine covers, on billboards, almost everywhere sexual photographs, jokes, "soft" porn and hardcore porn appear with little thought for who can see the suggestive or graphic exploitations.

However, since when is sex for the Christian equivalent to the world's view? Since when is sexual attraction deemed taboo for the Christian? And since when is marital sex for the Christian something to be hidden, silenced, and overlooked in a romance novel? When did it become "unacceptable" to non-graphically refer to romance, sexual attraction, love, and marital sex in a romance novel?

And since when is contrasting the world's various views of sex to God's view somehow "unacceptable"?

Christian men, both married and single, look at women. Some struggle with looking at women too much. Some have trained themselves to look away because they aren't usually viewing their hair color first unless it's purple or fuschia. Guys, I hope you'll be brave enough to back me up here. This isn't a criticism, it's reality.

Women certainly notice men they think are attractive. Many women view them differently from the way men look at women, but, nevertheless, we see what we consider good-looking. Biceps, forearms, bare chests, eyes, lips, moustaches, whatever. We're not blind.

Sexual attraction isn't always equivalent to lusting after someone, but for those in the world it's usually synonymous. The contrast, the struggle, the common desires . . .

Shouldn't all of these factors appear in a romance novel? A Christian romance novel? Why not?

Before you answer, I will not accept any reasoning that concerns "the weaker brother or sister". If any kind of sexual attraction is a problem issue for an individual, why is this person reading romance novels? Romance novels are built around the male/female attraction and dynamic.

I wonder if Christians haven't corrupted their views of sex by denying its God-designed and ordained importance and beauty for His people keeping their marriage beds pure and enjoying their lives together in the process . . . while resisting the temptation to join the world's views and indulge the flesh in our sin natures.  

 

Father, we're desperate for your clarity and instruction, your love, grace, and presence. Always. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

Posted in

18 responses to “Sex, Lies, and . . . Christian Fiction”

  1. Normandie Fischer Avatar

    As always, pithy and thoughtful, Nicole.

    Like

  2. Jason Joyner Avatar

    Charlie Peacock in 1991 wrote a song called “Love Me Like A Woman.” He wanted it to be a Christian’s idea of a love song, over a popular song at the time called, “I Wanna Sex You Up.” CP was a CCM artist at the time. He included the line “We can lie naked and unashamed, made one by divine connection.” It is an awesome song, but you couldn’t quote it in a CBA book I’m sure.

    Like

  3. Nicole Avatar

    Jason, I remember Charlie Peacock, but I don’t think I heard this song. What a wonderful concept.
    “‘We can lie naked and unashamed, made one by divine connection.’ It is an awesome song, but you couldn’t quote it in a CBA book I’m sure.” And that’s a shame.
    Appreciate you, N. Thank you.

    Like

  4. Patti Hill Avatar

    So much in your thoughtful post, Nicole. I have to giggle when I think of the “romance” in the bible and how Christians object to sexual attraction in novels today. Are these people reading the OT? Think of David and Bathsheba! Think of Hosea and Gomer! Think of the whole Song of Solomon! Concubines and rape everywhere! Lots of negative examples! Sex was given by God and distorted by Satan. Stories teach, but what are we teaching?

    Like

  5. Becky Wade Avatar

    I don’t believe that God intended for the love between a Christian man and woman to be tepid or boring. I believe He intended for His people to experience GREAT loves. So why shouldn’t our Christian romance novels depict great loves – full of emotion, passion, drama, loyalty, attraction, sacrifice, and an “I’ll love you until the moment I die” commitment?
    Frankly, it’s probably easier to write a very safe and sanitized romance. It’s hard work to portray all of the above in a God-honoring fashion, but it’s worth the effort, imo. It can be done!
    I agree with your post and your views, Nicole. Thanks (as always) for your thought-provoking insights!

    Like

  6. Nicole Avatar

    Thanks for stopping by, Patti, and taking the time to leave your thoughts. Do we ignore WHO created sex and all that attraction? Do we adhere to the worldview which makes it all lusty, filthy, and used just to please ourselves or for power?
    I think the CBA publishing slant is teaching that sexual attraction and completeness is not allowed outside that room known as the bedroom, and no one better discuss it how it really is or can be.

    Like

  7. Nicole Avatar

    Amen, Becky. Couldn’t agree more. Thanks so much.

    Like

  8. Brenda Anderson Avatar

    Well said as usual, Nicole, and insightful comments by everyone!
    Along those same lines, I’ve always wondered why “romance” novels are only about unmarried couples. I’d love to see more fiction that shows love & attraction between spouses.

    Like

  9. Nicole Avatar

    Good point, Bren. I guess it’s because the “romance” is headed toward that end (marriage) in CBA fiction. It should be noted that (hopefully) romance takes on the deeper substance after marriage. And part of that – shock of all shocks – involves . . . sex! Gasp.

    Like

  10. Jason Joyner Avatar

    I goofed on the song title though. It is “Kiss Me Like a Woman.” Here are the lyrics. Tell me this isn’t godly:
    Hello, baby, this is your lover speaking,
    Just as I promised you I’ve been saving my affections for the beauty of one,
    One more time, show me how love is done,
    Before we set the house on fire let’s take the time to build desire.
    Kiss me like a woman, baby, and I’ll love you, love you like a man,
    Love is a language we were made to understand.
    We can lie naked and unashamed, made one by divine connection,
    It’s good to know there’s a sacred trust when you give away your affections.
    It’s a beautiful place to be when you can trust each other completely.
    Kiss me like a woman, baby, and I’ll love you, love you like a man,
    Love is a language we were made to understand.
    I want my children to know what is pure, what is lovely, what is right,
    That the intimate moment is beautiful in God’s sight (that’s right)
    Well, it’s a good and right thing for a man to say…
    Kiss me like a woman, baby, and I’ll love you, love you like a man,
    Love is a language we were made to understand.
    I heard a fool on the radio talking trash about the love we make,
    That clown didn’t know the first thing about love,
    He’s a joker, he’s a liar, he’s a fake. (send him on his way)
    Kiss me like a woman, baby, and I’ll love you, love you like a man,
    Love is a language we were made to understand.
    And to keep things going, here’s a link to the song</a href>.

    Like

  11. Nicole Avatar

    Wow. Love this. Thanks for the link. What incredible lyrics. He’s known for his songwriting. No wonder! I. LOVE. THIS. Yeah, baby!

    Like

  12. Becky Wade Avatar

    Brenda, you make an interesting point. I remember reading a book ages ago by Francine Rivers about a married couple. There had been infidelity in the marriage and it was a story about their love and commitment as it struggled to survive. It might (?) be considered a romance. Or maybe not. Do you avid readers know which one I’m referring to?
    I occasionally read romances that start with a marriage-of-convenience premise. Karen Whitemeyer’s newest one (Short Straw Bride) is one.
    One possible reason we don’t see more married heroes and heroines in this genre? Because conflict is the lynch-pin of the romance novel. When you have no conflict you have no story. It’s harder to create believable conflict that can sustain 100,000 words when you begin with a married couple.
    I’ve just started my third Bethany House novel and I’ve married the hero and heroine in the prologue. :)))) I, apparently, enjoy a good challenge. LOL!

    Like

  13. Nicole Avatar

    Apparently so, Becky. You’re up to it.
    Could do the romantic married couple as strong peripheral characters who contribute to the plot, Bren. What do ya think?
    Anyone know which Francine Rivers’ novel Becky mentioned?

    Like

  14. Brenda Anderson Avatar

    Fun discussion, Nicole!
    Becky, I’m not sure which book that would be. I’ve read all of Francine Rivers’ contemporaries, but it’s been awhile. There’s And the Shofar Blew, The Scarlet Thread, or Leota’s Garden?
    Good points too about conflict being the lynch-pin in romance. Absolutely. But then I think of the unlimited conflicts that can occur within a marriage (beyond infidelity) & know that writers are creative enough to weave a compelling story & romance between a married couple. IMO, the married couple wouldn’t have to be secondary characters.
    I can’t wait to read your 2nd & 3rd books, Becky! After reading My Stubborn Heart, I have every confidence that you’re up to the challenge!

    Like

  15. Nicole Avatar

    I was wondering if it wasn’t And the Shofar Blew. It was so long ago, but I know the pastor got all caught up in “his” church, there was a woman trying to seduce him, and he and his wife separated for a while.
    Write it, Bren. 😉

    Like

  16. Becky Wade Avatar

    I believe the book I was thinking of was The Scarlet Thread. Thanks for jogging my memory, Brenda! If memory serves it won RWA’s RITA award that year for best inspirational romance.

    Like

  17. Cherry Odelberg Avatar
    Cherry Odelberg

    Good post.
    Also, thanks for the Charlie Peacock lyrics.
    Why does the good stuff have to go underground to get a hearing?

    Like

  18. Nicole Avatar

    Thanks for stopping by, Cherry. I know, I know. Aren’t those sensational lyrics?

    Like

Leave a reply to Nicole Cancel reply