Into the Fire

If you want to read some grown up Christian Fiction with a painful and important plot, Finding Amanda by Robin Patchen is a good place to start. The prologue will make you nauseous as you prepare to meet Amanda many years later.  

Amanda Johnson's chef skills, teaching cooking classes, and blog have given her a considerable following and a published cookbook with another one in the works. Although there is much to celebrate in her life, she's decided a separation from her former Marine husband Mark is necessary primarily because he's urged her not to try to publish her memoir about the traumatic past she endured at the hands of her psychiatrist as a young teen trying to recuperate from being the only survivor in a car crash with her best friend's family. She completely misconstrues Mark's reactions after reading the memoir and his reasons for not wanting her to publish it and builds a false foundation on which to build her case for an eventual divorce.

Mark is miserable being separated from his wife and two little girls without understanding why his marriage has suddenly fallen apart. He loves Amanda, is determined to win her back, but she keeps throwing up new roadblocks to his every effort.

I don't want to give away the plot points so I'll focus on the characters. The disconnect which caused the separation between this couple is a direct result of their inability to express their deepest feelings about the atrocity committed against Amanda. The misperceptions by Amanda are really her feelings projected onto Mark who is oblivious to how she's taken his actions over the last two years since she detailed her experience in the memoir. Amanda will have none of Mark's suggestions not to seek publication for the memoir because he fears her predator will try to find her even though she doesn't reveal his name in her account. 

Mark is all about protecting – and loving – his family. His concerns for his wife's safety reveal his character and his being a warrior at heart. He struggles with some PTSD symptoms but not always. His inner rage against the one who hurt Amanda is constantly having to be subdued, and he fights against what he wishes he could do to the man.

We watch the struggles of both characters as they react to each other. Although Amanda is a successful woman and a devoted mother, she suffers the scars of her past while hoping her memoir will provide some sort of justice and/or revenge. She's convinced herself the way she feels about Mark is correct and that her memoir will somehow benefit others and expose the man who ruined her life even though she never names him. Her conduct at times, in spite of her damaged reasoning, is despicable. In fact, I had to set my Kindle down a couple of times because she made me furious.

Mark found Jesus to get him through the trauma of learning of his wife's horror. His faith is new and raw, but it's all he has to get him through what's happening with his family. His best friend and former Marine Chris is now an FBI agent and helps Mark with information to protect Amanda. His wife Jamie is Amanda's best friend and hopes Amanda will stay with Mark and does her best to make sure Amanda sees that her husband truly loves her. Mark is honorable, has that all-man thing goin' on, and it figures he wouldn't know the real reasons his wife wants to end their marriage.

Robin Patchen writes skillfully and keeps the conflict present and intense. She handles the delicate topic of sexual abuse with gut-wrenching clarity and purpose and builds a painful but rewarding story about forgiveness and faith contrasting them to vengeance and self-reliance. The title is twofold: Amanda must find herself before she can be found. Highly recommend Finding Amanda.

Father, please continue to bless Robin as she writes about the trials and sufferings of people in this world. Give her whatever she needs to complete those stories you have just for her to tell. May she continue to honor you in all she does. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.