Into the Fire

                     (From Breath of Life, Chapter Seventeen)

     Who the hell was that kissing my girl? Oh, God. I’m not supposed to say that anymore. Her positive anticipation greeted me and smoothed over my possessive streak for the moment. I clasped her hand, and we walked into Tully’s.
     “I’m glad you called.” I told her when we were seated.
     “I couldn’t resist.” Her smile welcomed me.
     “You’ve made my morning. I know what I’ve been meaning to ask you,” I remembered.
     “What?” she asked, the cutest and most serious expression focused on me.
     “Did you quit smoking?”
     The full redness beamed through her latent tan. “I only smoke occasionally. It’s strange. Most people can’t manage it without addiction, I’m told. It’s only when I’m extremely nervous. Then I take a break and have a cigarette, and I find it . . . relaxing somehow.”
     She seemed embarrassed by it.
“I have a confession to make,” I decided, my mouth drying suddenly. Moments of truth seemed to have that effect on me.
     Worry crossed over those grey eyes.
     “The first time I saw you leaning against the building smoking was quite awhile before I actually got the opportunity to speak to you the day we met.”
     “Really?”
     “Yeah. I, well . . . just before I passed you that day, I was trying to figure out a way to introduce myself but wasn’t getting anywhere with the possibilities.” Fear began to feel its way up my spine, and I shivered unconsciously and I hoped unnoticed.
     “You wanted to meet me?”
     “Yeah, I did, Shaylen. You’re the first and only woman since I’ve been divorced who even inspired the notion. You . . . you’d become important to me.” I didn’t know if she could hear me—my voice seemed to disappear at the disclosure. I cleared my throat. “Even then I knew you were different than what I’d become used to. I knew you were unique.” I was having no success with volume.
     “I never saw you before that day.” Her look was pensive.
     “Did I do the wrong thing by not telling you sooner? I hope you don’t think I was stalking you or something. I didn’t know who you were—I’ve never been in your building. In fact, if I hadn’t stopped in front of that boutique place, I wouldn’t have even known what they sold.” I was babbling like a kid in trouble, making excuses.
     Her slow smile gave eventual comfort. “I’m glad we met, Michael.”
     “It wasn’t a coincidence. I’ve come to that conclusion.” That was my best allusion to God’s involvement in our romance.
     “I would agree.”
     “Who was the guy?” I blurted as I remembered seeing his lips on Shaylen’s face.
     She laughed, no doubt recognizing my tone. “David Rochester, owner and proprietor of David’s Boutique. My main supplier, as you might’ve guessed.”
     “Not a past . . .” I fumbled for an appropriate word.
     “David is a friend of mine, Michael.” She reached across the table with her right hand and touched mine. That’s when I saw her empty pinkie finger, and my heart jolted at the realization. I chose not to comment then, and the exhilaration I felt was difficult not to demonstrate, but I switched gears in order not to address her past love.
     “You have any ideas for Saturday yet?”
     “Is there anything else you want to ask me about David?”
     She sat calm and there was a smile on those delicious lips.
     “Alright. I got a little bent outa shape when I saw him reach over and kiss you.”
     “David is affectionate. We went out to dinner once. He saw that I was, well, different than he anticipated, and we both knew we weren’t suited for anything other than friendship.”
     “I get it. He had a passionate evening planned and when he discovered you were a no go, he didn’t pursue the relationship.” What was with my mouth?!
     “Something like that,” she admitted. “Except it was far more respectful than you made it sound. That’s why he’s still a friend,” she explained.
     “I’m sorry. That was rude.” This was not turning out at all like I’d hoped.
     “Don’t you trust me, Michael?” There was obvious hurt.
     How could one man be such a continuous jerk? My whole life—that’s all I’d ever really been. “I do, Shaylen. I’ve got some growing up to do, I guess. I’m just a screw-up.” I started to stand, wanting out of there, needing to get outside my skin because being within it wore ugly, and I hated it there.
     She stood with me, and to my surprise took my hand and asked me to wait a moment before we walked out of the shop. We walked in silence, her carrying a drink for her assistant, and my remorse ate me up. The precious few minutes I was able to spend with her, and I end up making her uncomfortable and basically insulting her. Way to go, Mike, you idiot.
     To my additional stupefaction, when we arrived at the revolving door to her building, she pulled me inside with her, the two of us close as we short- stepped around together and out into the lobby. I willingly went with her to the elevator and waited while it opened. Once inside she looked up at me with those silky eyes and reached up for a kiss that would etch itself upon my brain and body for days. It lasted past the doors opening and closing again and just before the doors reopened back at the lobby, she quietly pulled away. I struggled for control, reaching for my tie’s knot inexplicably thinking it must have reacted to the passion I was feeling and come loose.

     She pushed the button to close the elevator doors again only this time when they shut, she asked me if I wanted to meet her assistant. Of course I would’ve met her plumber and candlestick maker at that point, but as we walked out of the elevator, I could only hope my raging pulse and other things weren’t evident in my demeanor.

     The light-colored carpet was thick and comfy, and it was a quick walk across the alcove from the elevator to her office, an attractive gold script rendering her professional name written across the solid door, Suite 101 beneath it. She opened it, and we walked inside. I recognized the woman from the first time I saw Shaylen away from the white wall—she’d been Shaylen’s companion. She stood when we entered.
     “Mildred Devons, I’d like you to meet Michael Jamison. Mildred is my friend, my mentor in faith, and the best assistant a person could ever hope to have,” Shay presented, setting Mildred’s drink on her desk.
     “Mr. Jamison,” the woman said, extending her hand to me. “Shay is too kind.”
     “Please, call me Michael, and may I call you Mildred?” I asked, the professional part of me taking over finally.
     “Of course, I’d prefer it, Michael.” She was gracious and genteel. She reminded me of Miss Moneypenny. Still a very attractive woman. “Shay, Rick called. You can call him back at your convenience.”
     Her face lit up at the message. I’d been gone awhile. I needed to get back.
     “Shaylen, I better get back to the office,” I reported.
     “Alright, Michael. Just come see my portion of our little domain,” she said, tugging gently on my hand.
     I noticed the door was heavy as she closed it behind me, and before I got a good look at the neat surroundings, she put her arms around my neck and kissed me again. Never one to ignore something so wonderful, I participated fully, pulling her close. My past rushed to my present as I considered what I wanted to do. I stopped and let go of her.
     “I—I’m not good at—" My brain was nearly disengaged. The other body parts were fully functioning and taking over my conscious intentions, and I couldn’t even gather a clear thought for a few moments. “I’m sorry, Shaylen. It’s been awhile, and—I mean, I’ve never been in this situation. Uhh . . .” I raked my hair with my hand and took in a deep breath, looking out the windows of her office. “I need to go.”
     Her face became saddened, and she looked away. “I just wanted to let you know that it’s you I love.”
     “I love you, too, Shaylen. More than words can say. I have to be careful with you,” I tried to explain.
     “I understand,” she conceded, but I sensed disappointment, and that confused me. I wasn’t coherent enough to discuss it now, and I really did have to return to work.
     She mustered a smile and gently pushed me toward the door. “It’s alright. Go.”

Lord, apart from you I can do nothing. You provide every inspiration, story, character, and words. I'm always thanking you knowing it can never be enough. I love you, Lord. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

     Thus there were fourteen generations in all from Abraham to David, fourteen from David to the exile to Babylon, and fourteen from the exile to the Christ.

     This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about. His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

     But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins. 

     All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel" – which means, "God with us."

     When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.

Matthew 1:17-25 (NIV)

Christmas is in reality a celebration of great joy. Jesus is indeed the reason for the season. However, there are those who don't believe this, don't want to believe this, would rather participate in the Santa season with all those make-believe trappings instead. One thing about Santa is he isn't with them year round even if he knows whether they've been naughty or nice.

Others have lost loved ones during the Christmas season and for them it's hard to focus on anything else – the sadness overwhelming them. 

Others associate it with parties and gatherings and gift exchanges while experiencing some stress about what to fix, wear, or buy for the events.

Many regret how much they spent or wish they could've spent more. 

Estranged families don't break the barriers to share the season, and their differences dominate their lives. 

There is all kind of pain in this world, and suffering is not absent during this season of joy, redemption, and the beauty of grace and forgiveness. If the pain is yielded to the child who grew to be our Savior, there will come a hope in Him for all of the hurts to be reduced, to be healed, and to find a way to work through them with Him. Yes, it's miraculous. Supernatural. But oh so real. 

This Christmas season I urge anyone who suffers that deep pain as Christmas arrives to consider the One who came into the world for them, to save them, to love them, to make everlasting peace for them between them and their Creator. Not easily understood – those things of God – but accessible to anyone who's broken, lonely, sad, or wounded by the weapons of life. 

Wishing all of them and all of you to indulge the Christmas season and experience the fullness of Jesus. You won't regret it. 

Father, please minister your hope to those who need it most. In the Name of your Son, Jesus Christ, Amen.

                        This girl has always loved Christmas! 

Thank you, Jesus, for coming to set us free from sin. We're still desperate for you. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

Love the beauty, the season, the Reason for the Season. Happy Birthday, Jesus. Merry Christmas!

Ah, Lord, may every heart consider Jesus this Christmas season. No one or nothing else can give what He has – the best gift for all. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

                                       Starting it off right . . . 

God in heaven, thank you for Jesus and His rescue. Thank you that He knew and knows us. The miracle of Christmas is the Love of God for His creation. Thank you is never enough. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

Deadly Deceit is the second in the Harbored Secrets trilogy by Natalie Walters.

She's (Vivian) a former big newspaper investigative reporter now a "temporary" small town newspaper reporter working for a boss she cares for and admires. He's (Ryan) a Deputy Sheriff who holds a stack of job offers from alphabet agencies (FBI, CIA, etc.) for his genius cyber skills but stays in Walton, Georgia, as the only son of his single mom and the brother to his teen sister who he has protected since his father walked out on them when Ryan was 13. 

When Vivian responds to her boss' request to meet him at his home for a term he uses to mean there's a huge story to investigate, she goes. The shock she experiences after a few minutes at his home leads her to the Deputy Ryan Frost and through some angst and travail they begin to work together on an unsettling and mysterious case involving several people who've become victims of someone who goes by "The Watcher". 

Vivian wants no part of personal connections, but they're all around her waiting for her to warm up to them – and making it impossible not to succumb. She's kept herself aloof and independent for so long because of her "daddy issues" that have scarred her soul. When she's not fighting against her intentions, she realizes how good it feels to be treated like a friend, family, and, yes, even a romantic interest.

Ryan realizes he can't keep this spunky reporter from invading his space, and his protective nature determines he's going to keep her close before she really get hurts. While working with her instead of against her, he's forced to recognize she's got his heartfelt attention.

Of course there's trouble, pain, and some scary moments as they narrow the search for The Watcher, but the story concludes with genuine resolutions to long held pain, holding back, and a return to faith and forgiveness. 

Deadly Deceit is equal parts romance and suspense. Natalie Walters has written a good second book in this trilogy which will appeal to those readers who love romantic suspense/mystery with underlying faith principles.  

Father, please continue to bless Natalie for all of her efforts to glorify you. Keep her safe and continue to hold her close and fill her with your abundance. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

For unto us a child is born, 

   to us a son is given

   and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called

   Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

   Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of his government and peace

   there will be no end.

He will reign on David's throne

   and over his kingdom,

establishing and upholding it

   with justice and righteousness

   from that time and forever.

The zeal of the Lord Almighty

   will accomplish this.

Isaiah 9:6-7 (NIV)

(From Breath of Life, chapter 16)

I decided since I was early to wait outside the building for her. I glanced in the window of the boutique she exited nearly into my arms the other day and discovered this must be the source—or at least one of the sources—for her shoe collection. Pricey looking, for sure. Imports mostly from what I could tell. As I was scoping out the display, I felt an arm loop through mine, my hands planted in the pockets of my slacks. What a rush this woman could give me. I reached over and kissed her cheek and continued to enjoy the ensuing blush as we headed to the coffee shop.

     Once situated with our beverages, she spoke.

     “I’m taking my agent to dinner tonight to tell her about my faith in Jesus and how it’s going to change my writing.”

     “How’s she going to take it?”

     “Oh, she’ll take it alright, but it’ll concern her, no doubt,” she said with confidence. “She’s not one to be ‘impressed’ with matters of faith.” The cutest smile followed the statement.

     I couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re taking a little pleasure in that fact, I see.”

     Her slender hand came up to her mouth, and she giggled this little girl laugh followed by an immediate frown. “Is that wrong?”

     I looked at her, and this all consuming emotion flooded my consciousness and rendered me momentarily speechless. At first I just felt it without being able to identify it, but as I realized in the split seconds it took to register in my short-circuiting brain, this was love—a love that filled me and was taking me on a journey to a place I’d never been in 37 years of life on earth. The newness of the feelings was foreign enough, but adding this depth of strange devotion, I was undone.

     “No. No, how could it be wrong?” I attempted to ask with some coherency.

     “I don’t know,” she answered, perplexed. “It’s just that when I think about explaining it all to her, I can’t help but smile and hold back a laugh. I know exactly the expression that’s going to appear on her face. She’ll suddenly become a bit uneasy but rebound quickly. For once, I’ll be in control.” She paused. “That’s terrible,” she decided.

     I reached for her hand and smiled again. “It is not. Once in awhile the balance of power has to shift. Knowing you, you’ve probably always felt like she’s called all or most of the shots, and now you’re trading places in a way. It is your career. If you’re re-shaping it, it has to be your decision. I’m sure she knows you well enough to realize you don’t make haphazard decisions, and because of that, she’ll accept it thoughtfully after the initial ‘shock and awe’, so to speak.”

     She stared at me for a few moments, and I did my best to meet her serious gaze without reacting. Tough to do. I wanted to take her in my arms and . . .

     “I love you, Michael.”

     It was a statement, a declaration. Firm and decisive. My vision actually swirled a bit. Her voice was just above a whisper, but the sound echoed in all the chambers of my heart and brain. Resounding, like my perception of chiming Christmas bells: pure and crisp, harmonious, bringing both pleasure and reverence all at the same time.

     “I’ve never loved anyone but you, Shaylen Price.”

     The rest of the short time remaining blurred for me. I learned she would be dining with her folks the following night, and we reserved Saturday for us again, no plan pending other than being together which was fine with me. I wondered but didn’t ask if she would be attending church with Mildred again Sunday.

     Back at the office I had a lot to do so I didn’t get to indulge my newfound emotional state of mind, but later when I grabbed Chinese takeout on the way home and was finally sitting down in front of the TV eating it, I let it all hang out.

     It occurred to me then it was no wonder her brother hadn’t married. He wasn’t settling for second best or third or whatever it was I had done in my life. He was waiting for the one who made his heart beat off its axis at a certain phrase, a touch, a look, or even a thought of her. I had no idea what Rick was like, but Shaylen had made him sound like he was somewhat the opposite of her—more outgoing, confident, a great brother probably on a par with Joseph, and a real friend. I knew I’d like him, and although I looked forward to meeting him, getting the once-over after his best friend and his sister had been in love . . . passing that test would be next to impossible. The only thing I had going for me was Shaylen’s love. Not a small thing by any means, but in my current state of flux, not a great big over the top selling point either. I could only hope when I finally did meet Rick, I had myself together with God more. My puny relationship with the Creator as it stood right now could never measure up to that of the larger than life man who’d given his life on the battlefield.

     At that thought, I lost my appetite.

Father, every good and perfect gift comes down from you. Apart from you, I can do nothing. Thank you for every inspiration, every word, everything that works. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

In Rome, Italy, taken by my friend in our room in 1968 during our little photo shoot because it wasn't fun for two American girls to be outside in the evening by ourselves. So we had fun with our cameras.

Father, even though I didn't yet know your Son, you watched over me. I can never thank you enough. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.