Into the Fire

SEVERED

Now he wondered why he thought this would be a good idea as he stepped onto the first of five stairs that led up to the front door. He glanced back over his shoulder to see the lawn needed mowing and for some reason he thought of the Briggs & Stratton mower they used to have and wondered if it was still in the garage. It was amazing to see the house looked the same—a taupe color with a cream-like trim and in need of a paint job—because he didn’t look the same. He didn’t feel the same either. Or think the same. Or even act the same. Because if he did look, or if he felt, or if he thought or acted the same, he certainly wouldn’t be here now. No doubt about that. Because what he was about to face was going to tear his heart out. Again. Only in a different way.

     He took each step slowly, deliberately, and when he lifted his right hand to knock on the scuffed door, he took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, the pounding of his heart threatening his ability to hear himself think. He waited nervously with both hands in his worn brown leather jacket pockets, looking down and then once again back over his shoulder.

     The door finally opened and he took in the briefly curious look on her face that too quickly turned to anger and then stopped just short of hatred.

     “What are you doing here?” she snapped, her tone and angry expression momentarily stunning him despite his anticipation of that very response.

     “I, uh, I came to tell you that I’m sorry.” He could hardly breathe, and he wished he’d thought to bring a bottle of water and taken a drink before he attempted to speak. He cleared his throat. “For all of it. For everything.”

     She looked out the door past him, and it was at that moment he saw her fight back tears in those hard golden brown eyes. He’d never noticed the hardness before. Had it always been there?

     “How convenient,” she said harshly. “Jail house religion? Makes you feel good about yourself now, does it?” She was struggling with her temper, and he remembered suddenly how every once in a great while she could go off like a firecracker.

     “Well, no. It doesn’t exactly,” he managed to say.

     “Good. Because I don’t feel good about you either, and you had no right to come here.” She jerked her hand up and quickly rubbed her forefinger under her eye.

     “Jenni, I had to come here and tell you that I regret messing up your life. I’m sorry I upset you by coming here.” He attempted to look her in the eyes, but she wouldn’t allow more than a second of direct eye contact.

     “’Messing up’ my life?! You ruined my life, Thomas! You devastated my life. I’m just now trying to pick up the pieces of it, and you have no part of it. None! So if you’re through with your cutesy little feel good speech, I’d appreciate it if you’d get out of my life for good,” she barked.

     “Alright, Jenni,” he conceded wearily. “I just want to ask you one favor,” he ventured bravely.

     “You’re asking me for a favor?” The incredulity seemed to ricochet around in his ears.

     “Yes. Down the road, if and when you’re not angry anymore, I would ask you to find it in your heart to forgive me because I’m truly sorry for what I did to us, to you, and that it turned out the way it did for Will. I never intended to do that. I’ll have to live with that for the rest of my life.”

     “He’s dead, Thomas!” She almost screamed. “I loved him, and you killed him.” The tears came in a flood now.

     Her words burned through him like a precision guided laser beam straight to his heart.

     “You loved me once, Jenni,” he said quietly, although at the moment he couldn’t imagine she ever had.

     “Go away!” she shouted and stepped back inside, slamming the door in his face.

     He turned around and fought back tears of his own. With hands in his jacket pockets he walked down the stairs and out of his ex-wife’s life.

            The opening scene from my novel Destination.

Father, thank you for giving me characters to love, to investigate, and even to learn from. You're amazing. Apart from you, I can do nothing. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

Winter is refusing to leave many places threatening with more snow and freezing temperatures. After a point, some of the beauty fades. Our snow is gone, but today we had that raging east wind which is still persistent. Although this season has its purpose under heaven, it reminds us that death was not in the original plan . . . "for the wages of sin is death". 

Lord, we need your mercy every day though we don't deserve it. Please help us to be all that you desire us to be – the way you designed us. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

Here's an oldie. These two were so talented. They look so young here! (Well, duh, they were.)

Father, we have just so many days here. May those who are so gifted know The One who's blessed them with those gifts and talents. Thank you for it all. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

Flighty. Flirty. Self-centered activist. Senator's daughter Dani (Danielle Chamberlain) flings herself into every cause she thinks she believes in and gains the spotlight in the midst of her demonstrations. Having overstepped her legal boundaries, she is fined and assigned 100 hours of community service.

Winding up at the Family Table Meal, where fresh meals are provided for the homeless each Saturday, seemed the perfect place for her "cause"-oriented community service. What she doesn't expect to find there is a handsome guy (Austin Lang) preparing the meals and dispensing duties for the volunteers.

When Dani isn't protesting something, she's working as a real estate agent and enjoying the perks of living with her mom in their elegant family home. However, Dani's latest antics have caused her mom to rethink her daughter's maturity resulting in new arrangements in housing and transportation – all before Christmas! – to get the point across. 

Austin Lang is in need of new lodging and the beautiful new community service worker happens to be an agent. Exasperating as she can be, he gets tongue-tied when she's around him and believes she's out of his league since he was once one of these homeless people. 

We all know where this is heading, but the journey takes us on some surprising trips as life gets in the way of idyllic bliss.

In Home another Way by Brenda S. Anderson, the author portrays the annoying Dani and the now straight arrow Austin with just enough sass and angst respectively to complement the sparks that light fires in both of them. Clumsily working their ways through the troubled moments and the truth-telling struggles, they manage to arrive at a satisfactory conclusion.

Inside the story the letters were a nice touch and the "cameo" by Santa Joe (Joseph Courtemanche) provided instant recognition and a smile for those of us who are familiar with the wonderful author of Assault on St. Agnes and Nicholas of Haiti and Joe's "other" job and charitable work.

Father, you know each of us intimately. You know exactly what Brenda needs for herself and her family. I pray you would keep the inspirations coming and that she would reap the rewards of her creative endeavors. Bless her and keep her safe. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

     Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:

          Who, being in very nature God,

             did not consider equality with God something

                   to be grasped,

          but made himself nothing,

                   taking the very nature of a servant,

                   being made in human likeness.

         And being found in appearance as a man,

                   he humbled himself

                   and became obedient to death —

                     even death on a cross!

         Therefore God exalted him to the highest place

            and gave him the name that is above every name,

         that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,

            in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

         and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,

            to the glory of God the Father.

Philippians 2:5-11 (NIV)

Five random things I really love:

Our Seahawks room which is filled with all kinds of Seahawks paraphernalia

The colors I chose for the various rooms in our home

The incredible views of Mt. Rainier from our kitchen and living room windows

My black V-8 Explorer (4 X 4) named Mitch Rapp

My wonderfully comfortable and fashionable Taos above the ankle boots 

Father, I can't thank you enough for all you've given me physically, emotionally, and spiritually. No words big enough. Thank you is never enough. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

For those of you who've read or plan to read Race, here's an actual picture of the long shedrow in one of the barns of the racetrack described in my novel. The sleeping tack rooms are not shown in this picture and would be at the end of the barn. This picture also doesn't show the north and south sides where more stalls fill out the barns. 

Thank you, Lord, for my days at the multiple tracks, for fulfilling one of my dreams of being with horses. You gave me that love. I'm so grateful for all you've orchestrated in my life and so deeply sorry for all the things I did that were so hurtful and destructive. You rescued and forgave me, and there aren't words enough in any language to convey how thankful I am. Please continue to help me to be the one you designed me to be. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

What do you want from the review of a novel? How do you want the opinion of the novel expressed? What do you expect from a review? I think it's safe to say none of us want spoilers – yet so often they appear. And I admit it's difficult with some books to write a review without giving away portions of the story. 

I want a simple opinion of why a reader enjoyed a book. If they didn't care for it, I want a brief explanation as to why. I really don't want demeaning sarcasm or attacks on the author's writing. I understand an individual not liking a book – my review list here would be much longer if I'd decided to review the novels I didn't particularly like. 

So tell me what you want, expect, and/or like in a novel review? 

Father, thank you for all the readers, all the lovers of stories. Thank you for inspiring those that honor you. Every good and perfect gift comes down from you. Apart from you, I can do nothing. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

                An oldie but a goodie. Sing it, Bobby.

Father, we're desperate for you whether we know it or not. Thank you for being there for us all. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

On Francine Rivers' website, her personal "About" page indicates she was raised in a "religious home" but didn't embrace Jesus Christ until later in life. Her response to her salvation was to write the classic bestseller Redeeming Love. 

As most of you know, I've praised Francine's latest The Masterpiece in depth. I've loved many novels, but few have touched my soul like this one. In my review and post-review article I gave it my best shot at explaining my reaction but still it felt inadequate. 

So here's what I've concluded. Francine "gets" it. I can't claim to know anything about her personal life before she met Jesus Christ. But I would guess that she experienced somewhat of a participation in what the world offers before her conversion. I think this because I did and I'm convinced there is simply no other way to truly understand the mindsets of her hero and heroine in this story. And because they touch a chord in the past songs of my heart as it suffered through the rebellious years of my life, I knew these two. Intimately. 

Unlike them, I had no traumatic upbringing and was incredibly blessed with loving parents who believed in God and who sheltered me and raised me right. I had no excuses for the behaviors I chose after I left home. Except for one major thing: I didn't know Jesus. I too met him later in life (at 30). When you spend that much time in the world, you see, feel, and experience the underside of emotional attractions and conduct. Francine Rivers captures those to near perfection and the anguish those lifestyles produce along with the emptiness, the striving for "more" which can be attempted in all kinds of harmful ways. 

This might not make sense to anyone else. After all, these are fictional characters. Out of a novel. But to me they encompass a reality. They're more examples of why I write the way I do. We who made mistakes in our lives can be redeemed. We can find Truth and Love in spite of ourselves. His name is Jesus. And He's here for us all. 

Anyway, Francine "gets" it. And that's why the two characters in this novel mean so much to me. The Masterpiece is stunningly beautiful, and I've now read it five times. And counting . . . 

Father, you anoint and put your divine touch on many things. What an incredible blessing to be on the receiving end of such personal touches. Thank you for Francine's heart and ability to communicate life and your Love. Amazing gifting. Thank you for it all, Lord. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.