Into the Fire

The “average” man would not be caught dead saying he is a “romantic”, reading romance novels, or worse, admitting to liking romantic movies. At least not in public or with other men. The average man does not want to be considered a “girl-y man”, termed “sensitive”, or described as “metro-sexual”. And who can blame him?

But even the most male of men, if pressed, in private, will read or view or talk about something remotely romantic IF it’s presented well, written with more than a bunch of starry-eyed kisses, and actually deals with a man’s point of view honestly and without condemnation.

As a female, I have a keen appreciation for men and their roles. By that I mean they shoulder a heavy load in the spiritual kingdom. God designed them that way. But, as my husband would say, many men have abdicated their positions and taken back seats in leadership and responsibility and have forgotten who they will have to answer to for their laid back approaches to headship in family matters and leadership roles in the church. Others have taken dictatorial approaches to both positions and alienated their counterparts.

As a writer, I want the male characters I create to be life-like. I want to portray them as the fallible humans they are but with the vulnerabilities each of us as people possess. A man’s potential weakness is generally different from a woman’s. In order to be able to present a male character effectively, you have to know how they think, talk, and act in the situations where you place them in your stories. That’s not to say that all men act the same in those situations. Certainly they do not. But the character a writer creates must establish his personality and remain true to it until there is a significant reason for change demonstrated.

I greatly enjoy male authors who insert romance into their stories. Most of them do it well. Maybe the extent of detail varies some from a female author’s perspective, beings as we females can swoon at just a particular look a man might give us, but those men who tackle a little romance clearly have it in their hearts and are able to transcribe it to the written word.

Many men enjoy action as opposed to conversation, doing instead of thinking, and a lesser description of the “love” thoughts as opposed to the more intimate description of those thoughts. And even though there is a significant number of men who can’t differentiate between romance and sexual activity, as a writer, you can make those kinds of distinctions if you so choose. And make them meaningful. In fiction written for God a writer can create, display, and celebrate men and women, love and romance, action and important conversation to the degree that both sexes can find the enjoyment, learn about conflicting viewpoints, and come out of a story all the wiser and more appreciative of each other.

This might sound like I’m advocating including romance in action novels written for a primarily male audience. Just so you know, I’m not. However, I am advocating that when any writer does romance, make it worthwhile and meaningful. Yes, if your audience is primarily female, you will write differently than if the story might draw some men in to read. Romance doesn’t have to be “sappy”, “cheesy”, or “syrupy”—in other words, unreal. Make it matter . . . to whoever reads it. Show its value from the heart of God.

Father, you are the Grand Designer of human hearts and desires. You give us our “bents” and leanings. You know us better than we know ourselves. You make us grow if we allow it. Help me to better portray your creation, be it surroundings or people. May the characters seem real so that those who read my writing can identify with them and find some manner of relief, release, and/or reformation when they’re done with each story. Only you can provide that. I ask it in the Name of Jesus, Amen.