Into the Fire

Writing is an emotional journey. Not that it doesn’t include plenty of practical purpose time along the way, but, simply, if it’s your passion and your call, there will be some moments of unguarded mood swings, self-realizations, self-incriminations, comparison games, something akin to sorrow, and times of exceeding joy.

Who knows the absolute whys as to the timing and authorship of your first novel? As a Christian, I do believe you will be inspired to do it when He desires it for you. Beyond that depends a lot on you as a writer. Will you stay close to your Lord as you struggle to create what appears in the scenes in your head? Will you seek after His touch, His divine anointing on your work as you labor to tell the story just right? Will you pray for His will, not yours to be done if they seem to conflict? What will you do as a Christian writer?

How the Lord implants things in our hearts is as unique as the way we put words on a page. Although we cannot come up with “anything new under the sun”, we will each have a different way to tell it, courtesy of our Lord: the extraordinary Author of Life. I have told you he spoke words directly to me about the subject of my first novel about horse racing. And, somehow, He made me aware of self-publishing that first novel. He already knew what I did not: no publisher in his right mind would’ve taken on that huge saga which would be more or less centralized around a potentially “small market”.

Had the Lord elected to make me aware of the cost of publishing that book, I easily would’ve lost heart and become fearful—which is my specialty when it comes to how expensive things can be. But when I finally understood if it was the right thing to do to step out and publish that book, suddenly the terror of spending the kind of money it would cost on something that was guaranteed no monetary/commercial success whatsoever . . . disappeared. Instead, it became a must do thing.

Once the novel was done, it seemed I read with a different intent. The killer “comparison” thing rose up in me and caused great consternation. “I can write as good as he/she can!” Ooohhh. That’s an ugly thing, folks. Because the bottom line amounts to this: So what? It reminds me of Peter asking Jesus about John’s future in Him. Jesus replied to Peter, paraphrased: “What’s it to you, Peter? What I have for him doesn’t have to be the same thing I have for you, now does it?” It’s a humbling exercise I can only urge you to avoid. The plan for each individual is custom-made. Do we question the Creator of The Plan? Not in our saner moments.

I can tell you now that I read with a different perspective. Some novels are disappointing, and some are wonderful. Some are fluff—not usually the ones I read—and some are challenging. I read for enjoyment and to absorb anything the Lord would put into me.

My first novel is technically imperfect. My son had just acquired the first computer in our household as a graduation gift. I had no idea about the “technologies” of “bold” print and “italics”. No kidding. Plus, it’s just plain a first effort. You learn as you go. I wouldn’t change the story, but I’d change some of the technique and, of course, edit it some more. Honestly, I’m content with it overall.

I got to help design the cover. There were some excruciating mistakes made print-wise before it became the product it now is, but the rewards of having this book as a ministry are really immeasurable. I have given this book away to strangers, mailed it to e-mail friends, and have been humbled by the responses of those who’ve read it and know nothing about horse racing. So there ya go. God has always been at the forefront of this book, so it’s His to do as He pleases with it. It’s an adventure.

Six novels later, the stories and their futures are still in His hands. What can I do without Him? Nothing. I had to get to that place, though. I had to know in my heart that my journey might be different from another writer’s steps. I have to walk the path God has laid out for me. I have to learn to be content with my course and to understand that if and when it deviates from what might be considered the “norm”, God is more imaginative than I am and doesn’t need my assistance to make something pleasing to Him—he just uses my obedience and cooperation for His glory. And isn’t that the objective of it all? Honestly?

Father, thank you for allowing me to write for your glory. To give me words and stories, characters and dialogue, scenes and places . . . thank you for it all. Use it, I pray, to the Glory of God. For Jesus via the Holy Spirit. Be in it from start to finish. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.