The interpretations of romance range from fluff to subtle intimations of love-inducing gestures. Many men cringe at the word and certainly balk at the thought of reading a “romance novel” associating it with sap, Fabio, and ripped bodices or prim and blushing little English women.
Maybe my idea of romance is slightly different from the norm while also being inclusive of traditional romantic ideals. Romance is individual. It’s often so subtle those not involved wouldn’t recognize it in operation.
Some women are what I call High Maintenance. They require all the traditional acts associated with the word romance. They need the flowers, the hand-written notes, the jewelry, the fancy restaurant dinners, the “date nights”, the gifts to mark every occasion—don’t dare forget Valentine’s Day, gentlemen. A bit obsessive. If you don’t provide these romantic notions, they feel “unloved”.
Other women just want their men to take them out, treat them special, buy them something they really want, and let them know they’re loved.
Sometimes all of the aforementioned hoopla has nothing to do with real romance. They’re learned behaviors, practiced to perfection by some and completely blown by others. Women are as guilty as men in this department in their unflinching demands of certain behaviors to “prove” love.
In my opinion romance must begin in the heart. It comes from a place where something out of the norm is inspired by emotion, feeling, and desire. For most men it culminates in sexual intimacy. For many women it produces a sense of security—if even for the short term. Makes them feel appreciated, special somehow, and attractive to the one who has shown them “favor”.
So, a romance novel implements all or some of the above, and, depending upon what kind of fiction one reads, it can also contain graphic sexual escapades which reduce the real definition of the novel from romance to erotic.
Having been a self-confessed “die-hard romantic”, oddly enough category romance is generally not appealing to me. That’s why I’ve termed my novels non-traditional romance because they focus more on the heart of relationship not only between people but between people and the Lord. They also contrast the worldview of sexual relationships to God’s view of the same. The stories are about real situations and decisions made by people who know Jesus and those who don’t. Romance is included in all its various forms but isn’t really the total focus.
I am not of the “high maintenance” variety of women. In fact, I’m pretty low maintenance. And even though I love romance, it’s the little things which give me the extra heartbeat or bring tears to my eyes. Even if the sound of the word makes some of you guys cringe, without a little romance a relationship can be awfully bland and uninspiring.
God, you are the author of all good things. You are love. It seems you are willing to instruct all who desire to learn the heart of love since you embody it. Let all hearts be open to the art of loving at every level. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.
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